‘I went walking out today, Mama,
Took the road right down to the wood.
A troll man spoke from under the bridge
Saying he’d fix me up good.’
‘He just wants attention, darling,
He doesn’t really mean it, dear.
You’ll feel an awful lot better
If you pretend like you can’t hear.’
‘I went walking out today, Papa,
Took the path out to the loch.
A troll man came up from the reeds,
Asked if I’d suck on his cock.’
‘The world is a dangerous place, poppet,
Not made for my pretty child,
But you’ll be safe if you stay indoors
And don’t venture out in the wild.’
‘I went walking out today, brother,
Took the trail up round the cape.
A troll man stood on the shore,
Preaching the virtues of rape.’
‘It was clearly in jest, sissy,
Where’s your sense of humour?
Maybe you should see a quack;
You’re wired like you’ve got a tumour.’
‘I went walking out today, cousin,
Took the track that runs by the ditch.
A troll man walked after me,
Called me a whore and a bitch.’
‘You musta provoked him, silly,
Looking the way that you do.
Nice girls don’t get comments like that,
So what he said musta been true.’
‘I went out the house today, sister,
Stood by our front door,
Knifed up the troll man waiting for me
And now I’m going to war.’
‘Arm yourself, my sister,
And I shall do the same,
You get the matches, I’ll get the pitch,
And we’ll put this house to flame.’