Mrs Sugar Lump
never allowed dust to visit,
and creepies did not crawl in her house.
The exception was one fake lucky bag beetle
she left on the mantelpiece
to make herself laugh on wet days.
She was the future.
She had an abundance of hairnets
several shades of brown.
No one could tell the difference
but she could, a shade darker is a shade darker.
She wore a corset
that helped her chin stay slightly skyward.

She had doyleys
when we were just coping
with running water and flush toilets.
She was the future.
When she had the Stations in her house
a pup from down the road
put his hand in the sugar bowl
and took out a fistful of cubes.

She said watch this to Mrs Box-pleat-curtains
and with a silver teaspoon
she rasped hard on down-the-road’s knuckle.
You never need to beat them up
when they misbehave
you just get that teaspoon
pretend it’s a tuning fork
and listen to it ping.