OWL MAN’S IN BAD FORM
DON’T GO INTO THE BACK ROOM
HE’LL MAKE ORANG-UTAN NOISES
IF HE SEES YOU
HE’LL MAKE THESE STRANGE NOISES
LIKE HE IS NOT A MAN
YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS
AT THE AGE OF TEN

AND WHEN YOU’RE WITH YOUR FIRST GIRLFRIEND
AND SHE ASKS WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU
YOU SEE HIM THROUGH THE BACK WINDOW
BLANK FACED GLARING AT YOU
AND WHEN YOU’RE WITH YOUR FIRST GIRLFRIEND
AND SHE SAYS WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU SEE HIM SCRUNCHED UP RED FACED
CALLING YOU A LITTLE RUNT

OWL MAN’S IN BAD FORM
YOU HEAR HIM SLAM THE DOOR
AND SHOUT SOMETHING OVER
TO YOUR MOTHER
THEN EVERYTHING IS NORMAL
LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED
BUT INSIDE YOUR LITTLE BRAIN
A LITTLE BIRD IS CRAPPING

AND WHEN YOU’RE WITH YOUR FIRST GIRLFRIEND
AND SHE SAYS THAT YOU ARE STUCK
YOU SEE HIM SLAPPING YOUR ARM
AND TREATING YOU LIKE MUCK
AND WHEN YOU’RE WITH YOUR FIRST GIRLFRIEND
AND SHE TRIES TO TOUCH YOUR ARM
YOU SEE HIM BOUNCING UP THE STAIRS
HUNCHED OVER LIKE A RAM

OWL MAN’S IN BAD FORM
YOU WANT TO THUMP HIS HEAD
AND SAY YOU’RE A WEAKLING NOW
AND I’M A BETTER HEAD
BUT YOU KNOW YOU’LL NEVER DO THAT
COS INSIDE YOU’D DIE
BUT YOU’D LOVE TO FIGHT THIS FEELING OUT
MAKE THIS FEELING DIE
OWL MAN’S IN BAD FORM
HE’S MUCH OLDER NOW
AND YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART AND SOUL
YOU’LL NEVER HAVE A ROW
YOU’D LOVE TO GET HIM IN A BOXING RING
AND FIGHT THIS FEELING OUT
BUT YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART AND SOUL
YOU’LL NEVER OPEN YOUR MOUTH