With the palm of your right hand, slap the back of your left.
This is a slight, so face north-west and aim it at Ireland.
And be patient: speechlessness takes time to ferment.
Practise this until it stings, make sure it’s understood.
Listen now for the president’s gasp when it arrives, sun-smacked
And citric-bitter, and sounding for all the world like disapproval.
Now swim. Redden lightly on both sides. Learn the words for colour.
Repeat: Golden Virginia prasino; Rizla prasino; filtrakia prasino.
Remember ws are os, vs are ns, and arguments merely discussions.
Read in the original. Feign enlightenment.
Write your own myths about size and stamina
By taking one to bed, and apply your findings to all of them.
Pack light, text home, make lists. Don’t always trust the water.
If nothing else, realise this: you cannot be absented
From yourself. Go, by all means, but take a mirror. Stand before it.
With the palm of your right hand, slap the back of your left.