Baba Vanga, I never heard of you.
You were kept secret by Yeltsin.
But I’m learning about you now—
blind, clairvoyant, prophesying this,
that, and everything. You had to get
some things right – the big tsunami,
the melting polar ice caps, the election
of an African-American US President –
but I’m impressed by the prophecy that
two metal birds would attack New York.
I would never have seen that coming.
You stayed quiet on the moon landings,
and the goal-genius of Lionel Messi,
but I did like your insouciant claim
that aliens are living here for decades.
I often imagined this must be the case—
I even wondered if I might be one.
But what’s all this stuff about Isis,
and a Europe as we know it being kaput,
replaced by a Caliphate, with Rome
at its epicentre, all this in ten short years?
Come off it, Baba Vanga. Admit, from
death, that this was maybe a dumb call,
one of your 20 or 30 per cent misfires.