January 6th, 2021

Learning to live in the dark—

I can’t help but wonder what’s walking

out there, in the park, beyond my windows

and doors, far away from all my opinions.

Is there a world apart I will never belong to? I—

an idea dissolved in blue and black.

The green we remember seems faint

and far away. Music plays. We half-listen.

A teacher once told me, ‘get far from here’

yet there she stood. I take comfort in that.

A will to remain. But her comfort isn’t mine.

Today the weight of words defies all understanding.

Once, I might have used them, flung them up

in the air just to see the shapes they fell into.

Now words are stones. Without lightness.

Harsh and cold to touch. And I have dissolved

into many. Not a multitude, too difficult

to convey. But something less than promised.

Or maybe something more.

It depends on how you feel about standing still.