January 6th, 2021
Learning to live in the dark—
I can’t help but wonder what’s walking
out there, in the park, beyond my windows
and doors, far away from all my opinions.
Is there a world apart I will never belong to? I—
an idea dissolved in blue and black.
The green we remember seems faint
and far away. Music plays. We half-listen.
A teacher once told me, ‘get far from here’
yet there she stood. I take comfort in that.
A will to remain. But her comfort isn’t mine.
Today the weight of words defies all understanding.
Once, I might have used them, flung them up
in the air just to see the shapes they fell into.
Now words are stones. Without lightness.
Harsh and cold to touch. And I have dissolved
into many. Not a multitude, too difficult
to convey. But something less than promised.
Or maybe something more.
It depends on how you feel about standing still.